podcast image for Three Bean Salad
Three Bean Salad
Description

A podcast from comedians Mike Wozniak, Henry Paker and Benjamin Partridge. Each week the three beans tackle a different theme, suggested by the listening audience.

Episodes
  • 2025 / 11 / 5
    It's November And This Episode Isn't An Episode

    No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until December)Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus episodes: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladTickets for our Glasgow show, plus live...

  • 2025 / 10 / 29
    Fifth Wednesday Pod Replacement Pod

    No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (it's a five Wednesday July and we only do four episodes a month because of mindfulness)Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus/video...

  • 2025 / 10 / 22
    Town Planning

    As our days grow shorter and our ear hair grows longer what better to reflect upon than the righteous placement of bollards and ethical commercial land zoning. Thank you then to Dan from Saint Bremen who has...

  • 2025 / 10 / 15
    Donkey Milk Soap

    Even the most disciplined podcasters in the world are susceptible to the occasional whoopsie. So it is with this episode which, owing to circumstances outside but mostly inside the beans’ control, contains no...

  • 2025 / 10 / 1
    Sunday Roasts

    Lee of the Black Country wants the beans discuss Sunday roasts this week, presumably because he’s not allowed to have one himself this weekend. But why not? Was he rude to a policeman? Did he throw a wobbly...

  • 2025 / 9 / 17
    Kitchen Gadgets

    This week the beans tackle kitchen gadgets thanks to Tymon of Poland. Currently there are no legal restrictions on or requirements for the personal use of vegetable spiralizers in domestic, industrial, galley...

  • 2025 / 9 / 10
    Australia

    People are known to have travelled from Bristol to Australia and vice versa on various occasions and sometimes more than once. Given these strong links it shouldn’t come as a shock that Loz of Bristol reckons...

  • 2025 / 9 / 3
    Noodles

    Sam of Aurora slung noodles into the bean machine, and the beans attacked it with relish, going deep on the topic in such a way that you'll never look at a noodle, or even tagliatelle, in the same way again....

  • 2025 / 8 / 13
    Free Patreon episode - And Then Sparrows Took Their Eyes: Hans The Hedgehog

    A freebie Patreon episode to give you a taste of the sort of thing we do over there. Henry tells Mike and Ben the story of Hans The Hedgehog.www.patreon.com/threebeansalad

  • 2025 / 8 / 6
    It's August! Non-Ep!

    No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until September)Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus episodes: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladTOUR TICKETS:...

  • 2025 / 7 / 30
    Fifth Wednesday Not-A-Pod Pod

    No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (it's a five Wednesday July and we only do four episodes a month because of an EU directive)Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus...

  • 2025 / 7 / 23
    Hiking

    Hailey of Guildford offers up hiking as a topic for the beans this week which is nothing to be ashamed of. Just as the cardinal rule of the hiker is to leave no trace of themselves on the landscape, the...

  • 2025 / 7 / 16
    Queen Victoria

    Queen Vic, Lil’ Drina, Granny Europe, The Windsor Widow, The Saxe-Coburg Slicker, Big Bo Peep. Whatever you call her, Queen Victoria still holds the record for the monarch with the most pubs and Spice Girls...

  • 2025 / 7 / 9
    Archery

    Match Of The Day. Big Break. Bullseye. All of the major British sports have been comprehensively covered by television for decades - except archery. Looks like it’s time for the beans to pick up where...

  • 2025 / 6 / 25
    Old Wives' Tales

    The presumably unreconstructed Nick of Chicago feeds “Old Wives’ Tales” into the Bean Machine which spew-jects it just at the moment the beans are after a topic so that’s what it is. Is there no such thing as...

  • 2025 / 6 / 18
    The Sixties

    They say if you remember the 60s then you didn’t really do yourself any serious brain damage in the 60s. Perhaps someone in that situation would be well placed to offer some thoughts on arguably the most...

  • 2025 / 6 / 10
    Moths

    The beans have avoided it for as long as possible but Roddy of London has spoken and what he spake is “Moths”. This could be a fearsomely difficult listen for anyone with a loathing of moths or this podcast....

  • 2025 / 6 / 4
    Wild Camping

    Sean of Exeter kicks off a hot summer of lukewarm banter by suggesting the beans discuss wild camping. Sub-topics could but don’t include how to make a tent out of your own trousers, evading predators by...

  • 2025 / 5 / 7
    Non-isode

    No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until June).Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus episodes: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladTOUR TICKETS:...

  • 2025 / 4 / 30
    Fifth Wednesday back in 10 minutes transmission

    No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (it's a five Wednesday April and we will only do four Wednesday episodes in a month out of respect for all that is holy)Join our PATREON for ad-free...

  • 2025 / 4 / 9
    Ham Salad

    You will no doubt have a strong opinion on ham. It has been a muse to poets, a justification for war lords, a promise between lovers. It is mankind’s cornerstone. But ham salad? That’s something many of us...

  • 2025 / 4 / 2
    Festivals

    It’s Helen of Bristol’s turn to feed the bean machine this week which has led to the topic being festivals. Of course there’s a festival for bloody everything these days and they’re not like they used to be...

  • 2025 / 3 / 12
    Giants

    Samuel of 84A High Street chooses giants as this week’s topic and no doubt he has his reasons. Should you wish to know those reasons the beans are unable to help but you could always spend the rest of your...

  • 2025 / 3 / 5
    Space Travel Tourism

    What is your council tax liability if you build a holiday bungalow in outer orbit? How would you recycle all that cosmic glassware? And most importantly, would the lukewarm banter of your favourite podcast...

  • 2025 / 2 / 5
    Anti-episode episode-isode

    No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until March).But sign up to PATREON for weekly bonus episodes throughout March, ad-free episodes and more: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladTicket...

  • 2025 / 1 / 29
    Fifth Wednesday Advice-cast

    No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (it's a five Wednesday January and we will only do four Wednesday episodes in a month out of respect for natural law, magnets and the tides)Join our PATREON...

  • 2025 / 1 / 22
    D.I.Y.

    Steven of Oslo suggests DIY as the topic for this week’s episode so if you’re looking for the audio equivalent of a double-treaded sub-insulated Type D prog-backed 9mm helix arched reverse spiral pentagonal...

  • 2025 / 1 / 15
    Guy Fawkes

    We will never know if Guy Fawkes’ grim end would have changed had his barrister not gone for the “He only wanted to make the Houses of Parliament lukewarm” defence. Perhaps Mr Fawkes himself would have drawn...

  • 2025 / 1 / 1
    The Railway

    The railway is this week’s topic thanks to Nick of Kent (which for our international listeners is “The Garden of England” according to Kent. It is also unusual as a county as it categorises each man born in...

  • 2024 / 12 / 29
    Ratmas

    To date the indisputable peak of human scientific endeavour has been managing to hide a bonus track on a CD. The natural next summit is to hide a bonus door on an advent calendar. Will we see this achieved in...

  • 2024 / 12 / 25
    Hippos

    Tis the Yule and Jacob from Manchester very cannily suggests hippos as this week’s topic. In Aesop’s fable, the hippo is humiliated by being left out of any accounts of the Nativity and, according to Hans...

  • 2024 / 12 / 11
    Interior Design

    Most of us can only dream of the splendour of the internal spaces occupied by London’s elite. A lucky few might have a neighbour who’s made it big on the pools, bought one of those glossy magazines with...

  • 2024 / 11 / 6
    Un-episode-isode

    No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until December).Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad

  • 2024 / 10 / 30
    Fifth Wednesday Informationcast

    No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (it's a five Wednesday October and we only do four episodes a month - take it up with our lawyer, Julian Calendar)Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a...

  • 2024 / 10 / 23
    Budget Airlines

    Put your seat back into the reclining position (but only if you have the express consent of the person behind you who has also ideally reclined their seat with the express consent of the person behind them ad...

  • 2024 / 10 / 16
    Sharks

    Dan from Bremen chooses sharks for this week’s topic as well he might. After all, just as the shark is a perfectly evolved apex predator, so is the bean a perfectly evolved apex legume. No one wants three...

  • 2024 / 10 / 9
    The Pyramids

    True to form, Tutankhamun from the Nile Delta has selected the pyramids as this week’s topic. Were these structures named after the shape or was it the other way around? Were they meant to be that shape in...

  • 2024 / 10 / 2
    Adverts

    Adverts: lifeblood of the nation, engine of the economy, coal of the mind. What could be more splendid then than a podcast episode which already contains adverts also being about adverts? Thank you to Andrew...

  • 2024 / 9 / 25
    Pasta

    It’s drive time on Bean FM and this week the lukewarm hits are in the key of “pasta” thanks to Matt of Bremen! We’ve got all the latest celebrity gossip, updates from Bonjamin’s traffic drone, weather from...

  • 2024 / 9 / 18
    Mushrooms

    The beans doff their caps (FUNGUS PUN!) to Adam of Bremington Spa for providing this weeks topic: mushrooms. What (or who???) are mushrooms? And why? And how come none of the other podcasts are getting to...

  • 2024 / 9 / 11
    Jazz

    Looking for a clear explanation of the syncopated contrapuntal elaboration of static half-diminished harmony tritone substitution turnaround? Then look no further as Cameron of Milton Keynes has the beans...

  • 2024 / 8 / 6
    Non-episode-isode-isode-isode-isode-isode

    No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until September).Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad

  • 2024 / 7 / 31
    Fifth Wednesday Precaution Alert

    No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (it's a five Wednesday July and we will only do four Wednesday episodes in a month on the basis of hard won workers' rights)Join our PATREON for ad-free...

  • 2024 / 7 / 24
    Archaeology

    This week the beans are scraping away the topsoil of knowledge and softly brushing away the woodlice of friendship to reveal a hoard of lukewarm banter for your pleasure. This is all thanks to Pat from Ely...

  • 2024 / 7 / 17
    Boats

    "Why is that Wikipedia doesn’t bother having any pages about aquatic craft these days?”, you might ask if you’d had your head stuck in a honey badger’s front porch for the last 3 years. The answer, of course,...

  • 2024 / 7 / 10
    Haircuts

    Rebecca from (The?) Wirral selects haircuts as this week’s topic for the beans. Presumably this was a cynical attempt to silence Henry for an episode - an attempt which, of course, failed. Rebecca has been...

  • 2024 / 7 / 3
    My Hot Air Balloon Ride

    This week, Bonjamin Partridge centralises power, unilaterally suppresses any viable opposition and brings all bean media under executive control. “Big deal!” we hear you cry. “He’s just tapping into the...

  • 2024 / 6 / 26
    Feudalism

    Is it true what they don’t say that the world is on the brink of sliding back into a system of feudalism? If so where will you be in the pecking order? And more importantly where will podcasters be? Clergy...

  • 2024 / 6 / 19
    Gameshows

    Allison of Penistone has the beans talk about gameshows this week and by gum they don’t disappoint. Or do they? Why not play the ultimate game of chance and find out? Simply “Spin That Bean!”* and you could...

  • 2024 / 5 / 1
    Non-episode caretaker abeyance-isode

    No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until June).Join our PATREON at patreon.com/threebeansalad for bonus episodes.