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Wolf 359
Description

Life's not easy for Doug Eiffel, the communications officer for the U.S.S. Hephaestus Research Station, currently on Day 448 of its orbit around red dwarf star Wolf 359. He's stuck on a scientific survey mission of indeterminate length, 7.8 light years from Earth. His only company on board the station are stern mission chief Minkowski, insane science officer Hilbert, and Hephaestus Station's sentient, often malfunctioning operating system Hera. He doesn't have much to do for his job other than monitoring static and intercepting the occasional decades-old radio broadcast from Earth, so he spends most of his time creating extensive audio logs about the ordinary, day-to-day happenings within the station. But the Hephaestus is an odd place, and life in extremely isolated, zero gravity conditions has a way of doing funny things to people's minds. Even the simplest of tasks can turn into a gargantuan struggle, and the most ordinary-seeming things have a way of turning into anything but that. Wolf 359 is a radio drama in the tradition of Golden Age of Radio shows. Take one part space-faring adventure, add one part character drama, and mix in one part absurdist sitcom, and you get Wolf 359.

Episodes
  • 2025 / 11 / 13
    Minkowski Presents: The Harbingers & Pod's the Thing

    Our favorite station commander is back to tell you all about two new shows created by Wolf 359 alumni: series creator Gabriel Urbina's new fiction podcast The Harbingers and lead actress Emma Sherr-Ziarko's...

  • 2025 / 8 / 4
    Minkowski Presents: Wolf 359 @ London Podcast Festival 2025!

    Surprise! That's right, folks! We weren't gonna just sit around and let our friends at Wooden Overcoats and Camlann have all the fun, now were we? We're also doing an event at the London Podcast Festival...

  • 2025 / 4 / 24
    Eiffel and Hilbert Present: Hit Singles, the New Series by the Creators of Wolf 359

    That's right - our old friends Eiffel and Hilbert are back with important news! There's a new audio fiction series called Hit Singles, created by Wolf 359 creator Gabriel Urbina and produced by Urbina, Sarah...

  • 2025 / 1 / 15
    Eiffel and Hilbert Present: Writing Stories For Sound with Gabriel Urbina (Including All New Masterclass!)

    Want to write great fiction podcasts but don't know where to begin? You're not alone! Wolf 359 creator Gabriel Urbina is offering a new and updated version of his acclaimed online workshop, Writing Stories...

  • 2024 / 12 / 4
    Presenting Dracula: The Danse Macabre

    Wolf 359 creator Gabriel Urbina is back to present a quick preview of his new show Dracula: The Danse Macabre. It's a four-part adaptation of Bram Stoker's novel, bringing the horror classic to audio fiction....

  • 2024 / 8 / 22
    Eiffel and Hilbert Present: Directing Stories For Sound with Gabriel Urbina

    Want to create great fiction podcasts but don't know where to begin? You're not alone! Wolf 359 creator Gabriel Urbina is offering a brand new online workshop, Directing Stories For Sound, as well as a new...

  • 2021 / 12 / 25
    The Wolf 359 Reunion Episode of Pairing Podcast

    Merry Christmas, and Happy 4-Year Anniversary to the finale of Wolf 359! To celebrate, Commander Emma Sherr-Ziarko gathered (most) of the cast and crew of the show for a reunion on her own podcast, Pairing,...

  • 2021 / 11 / 23
    The Wolf 359 Ad-Free Feed Is Live!

    We finally broke through the last of our technical hiccups, friends, and could not be more excited to share with you the brand new(/old) Wolf 359 Ad-Free feed. To access the whole run of the show without ads,...

  • 2021 / 10 / 25
    Making the Final Episode

    This is a behind-the-scenes look into the making of the final episode of Wolf 359, produced by Rebecca Seidel. Featuring interviews with its cast and crew, and never-before-heard audio from the studio...

  • 2021 / 10 / 25
    New to Wolf 359? Start Here!

    New to Wolf 359? Don't know where you should start listening? Here's the orientation you need for your deep space adventure: how to get started, what to look out for, and how to get the best Wolf 359...

  • 2021 / 10 / 5
    Wolf 359 Feed Update: The Great Advertising Experiment Begins October 6th, 2021

    Hello Dear Listeners! It’s Doug Eiffel.. also known Executive Producer and actor Zach Valenti here with a brief announcement. Wolf 359 has been finished for… oh man, almost four years now. When Gabriel...

  • 2020 / 11 / 2
    Unseen: A New Series from the Makers of Wolf 359

    Hello Dear Listeners! We are revisiting the Wolf 359 feed for a very special, very exciting announcement! The creative team behind Wolf 359 has just released a brand-new audio fiction fantasy series called...

  • 2019 / 10 / 21
    Zero Hours: A New Series From The Wolf 359 Crew

    Hello Dear Listeners! We're re-activating the Wolf 359 feed for a very special announcement from the man of a thousand voices himself, Zach Valenti. The creative team behind Wolf 359 has just released a...

  • 2018 / 12 / 24
    Mini Episode: Space Rage

    Faced with yet another affront to his dignity, Communications Officer Eiffel expresses his frustrations the only way he knows how - through the miracle of radio. Written by Zach Valenti, Sarah Shachat, and...

  • 2018 / 12 / 24
    Mini Episode: Step One

    Forced to deal with the unique challenge of figuring out how to put on a space suit, Communications Officer Eiffel does his best to break it down into small, manageable steps. Written by Zach Valenti, Sarah...

  • 2018 / 12 / 24
    Mini Episode: Adventure of a Lifetime

    Communications Officer Eiffel explores the far reaches of the Hephaestus, and goes on a journey like no other. Written by Zach Valenti, Sarah Shachat, and Gabriel Urbina. Directed by Gabriel Urbina. Performed...

  • 2018 / 12 / 24
    Special Announcement: Pryce and Carter's DSSPPM and Three New Mini Episodes!

    It's been one year since the release of our finale episode! To commemorate the occasion, we are finally releasing the full version of Pryce and Carter's Deep Space Survival Procedure and Protocol Manual, as...

  • 2017 / 12 / 26
    Episode 61: Brave New World

    Please be advised this episode of Wolf 359 contains violence and the use of firearms. Listener discretion is advised. Our finale episode. Faced with a choice between finally going home and stopping Pryce and...

  • 2017 / 12 / 24
    Mission Mishaps: Happy Holidays

    Mission Mishaps, entry eight. SI-5 surveillance log. Entry #CRT004. Maxwell and Jacobi try to talk their way out of a mandatory assignment. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • 2017 / 12 / 21
    Special Episode: Volte Face

    Investigative reporter Andrea Nash is having a very good day. She's flown halfway around the world on a very special assignment: an exclusive interview with Marcus Cutter, the infamous Director of...

  • 2017 / 12 / 12
    Episode 60: Terms and Conditions

    Please be advised this episode of Wolf 359 contains instances of violence and use of firearms. Listener discretion is advised. With the wayward pod successfully recovered but Doctor Pryce still in the hands...

  • 2017 / 12 / 6
    Mission Mishaps: No Complaints

    Mission Mishaps, Entry Seven. SI-5 Surveillance Log. Entry #FRD916. Kepler and Jacobi try to keep themselves entertained during a stakeout. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • 2017 / 11 / 30
    Episode 59: Crash and Burn

    Trapped with Kepler and Pryce on board a jettisoned pod from the Sol, Eiffel and Minkowski must find a way to avoid all manner of imminent death. Before too long, a delicate truce has been struck, as both...

  • 2017 / 11 / 22
    Mission Mishaps: Cold Turkey

    Mission Mishaps, Entry Six. Hephaestus Log #TRK536. Day five hundred and fifty-three. Eiffel takes the lead on cooking dinner for the crew's second Thanksgiving on the Hephaestus. Hosted on Acast. See...

  • 2017 / 11 / 14
    Episode 58: Quiet, Please

    Please be advised this episode of Wolf 359 contains instances of violence and body horror. Listener discretion is advised. Having freed themselves from Pryce's mind control, Eiffel, Minkowski, Hera, Lovelace,...

  • 2017 / 11 / 8
    Mission Mishaps: Lights Out

    Mission Mishaps, Entry Five. Hephaestus Log #WYL320. Day four hundred and eighty-seven. Eiffel reads scary stories and hears something in the dark. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • 2017 / 11 / 4
    Episode 57: The Devil's Plaything

    Please be advised this episode of Wolf 359 contains violence. Listener discretion is advised. Part two of two. Newly released from Pryce's mental control, Eiffel works with Lovelace and Hera to try to save...

  • 2017 / 11 / 1
    Episode 56: Idle Hands

    Please be advised this episode of Wolf 359 contains disturbing content. Listener discretion is advised. Part one of two. With the crew brainwashed into doing their bidding and Hera forced to comply with her...

  • 2017 / 10 / 28
    Mission Mishaps: The Veldt

    Mission Mishaps, entry four. Hephaestus Log #NOL858. Day 411. Eiffel ventures into the greenhouse. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • 2017 / 10 / 12
    Mission Mishaps: You Want, I Solve

    Mission Mishaps, entry three. Hephaestus Log #WME389. Day three-hundred and seventy-two. Eiffel encounters a stowaway. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • 2017 / 10 / 3
    Episode 55: A Place For Everything

    Please be advised this episode of Wolf 359 contains disturbing content, threats of violence, and firearms. Listener discretion is advised. Following Eiffel's sudden disappearance, Minkowski and the crew work...

  • 2017 / 9 / 27
    Mission Mishaps: The Space You're In

    Mission Mishaps, Entry Two. Hephaestus Mission Log #KWE824. Day 202. Eiffel tries to avoid his daily chores around the station.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • 2017 / 9 / 18
    Episode 54: The Watchtower

    Slowly floating towards Wolf 359, untethered and separated from everyone else on the crew, Officer Eiffel tries a radical approach to solving the aliens' riddle. However, it's only a matter of time before he...

  • 2017 / 9 / 12
    Mission Mishaps: A Little Night Music

    Mission Mishaps, Entry One. Hephaestus Formal Complaint #ARB062. Day 510. Eiffel tries to boost the crew's morale with a bit of sonic artistry appreciation. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more...

  • 2017 / 9 / 4
    Episode 53: Dirty Work

    This episode of Wolf 359 contains discussions of violence and death. Listener discretion is advised. When Eiffel picks up signs of a transmission from deep space just hours before Hera's scheduled to go...

  • 2017 / 8 / 22
    Episode 52: Constructive Criticism

    Following the fiasco that was his latest attempt at radio journalism, Officer Eiffel has retreated away from the crew, working long hours by himself. Things take a turn for the worse, however, when a...

  • 2017 / 8 / 8
    Episode 51: Shut Up and Listen

    Space Monkey Radio proudly presents U.F.Overview: a new series that offers in-depth analysis on the possibility of alien contact, and explores the complex realities of communicating with non-terrestrial...

  • 2017 / 7 / 25
    Episode 50: The Hiccups Method

    It’s been a few weeks since the crew aborted repairs on the Urania, and they are no closer to figuring out how to satisfy the aliens' mysterious demands. If only they had someone on board who shared some sort...

  • 2017 / 7 / 11
    Episode 49: Out of the Loop

    With the end of the Urania's repairs in sight, the crew is throwing all their energy into one final push. But as the finish line inches closer, Captain Lovelace begins to notice something strange. Work is...

  • 2017 / 6 / 27
    Episode 48: Theta Scenario

    Please be advised this episode of Wolf 359 contains mentions of violence, death, and suicide. Listener discretion is advised. As Eiffel, Minkowski, Hera, and Lovelace try to decide how to allocate their...

  • 2017 / 6 / 19
    Mini Episode 14: One of Them

    Eiffel and Minkowski listen in on a tense discussion. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • 2017 / 6 / 13
    Episode 47: Into the Depths

    Please be advised this episode of Wolf 359 contains violence. Listener discretion is advised. The crew of the Hephaestus's day just got a whole lot worse. The funeral they were holding was interrupted by one...

  • 2017 / 6 / 9
    Special Episode: Change of Mind

    Please be advised this episode of Wolf 359 contains violence. Listener discretion is advised. Captain Lovelace, commanding officer of the U.S.S. Hephaestus Station, is not having a great week. She's butting...

  • 2016 / 12 / 25
    Episode 46: Boléro

    As Eiffel, Minkowski, and Hera reel from the results of their mutiny, it soon becomes clear that even worse dangers might be right around the corner. With everyone's psyche in a delicate state and the chances...

  • 2016 / 12 / 13
    Episode 45: Desperate Measures

    This episode of Wolf 359 contains gun violence. Listener discretion is advised. Part two of two. The crew desperately tries to salvage their mutiny and escape the wrath of the SI-5. But as both sides try to...

  • 2016 / 12 / 6
    Episode 44: Desperate Times

    Part one of two. Still reeling from recent revelations, the crew plans to neutralize Colonel Kepler and the SI-5. But it's not long before different factions insist on conflicting ways to overcome their...

  • 2016 / 11 / 22
    Episode 43: Persuasion

    With just over a day left before the long-anticipated alien contact event, Colonel Kepler keeps the crew working overtime to get the Hephaestus ready for anything - and everything - that might happen. As they...

  • 2016 / 10 / 31
    Episode 42: Time to Kill

    In order to better study the properties of an incoming solar storm, Eiffel, Lovelace, Jacobi, and Maxwell are assigned to collect data on board a small experimental module. Separated from the Hephaestus and...

  • 2016 / 10 / 19
    Episode 41: Memoria

    With Hera out of commission, Doctor Maxwell attempts a difficult reconstructive procedure on the unresponsive autopilot program. Before she can even begin, however, she will have to navigate through the...

  • 2016 / 10 / 4
    Episode 40: Limbo

    While most of the crew tries to enjoy a rare moment of downtime, Doctor Maxwell discovers some previously undetected flaws in the station's systems. When her suspicions about these faults are proven right,...

  • 2016 / 9 / 19
    Episode 39: All Things Considered

    After a technical mishap causes Jacobi's latest experimental gizmo to discharge within the Urania, a number of the SI-5's personal items are vented into space. A furious Colonel Kepler assembles everyone who...

  • 2016 / 9 / 5
    Episode 38: Happy Endings

    Preparations are underway to deal with the next contact anomaly from Wolf 359. But the old crew of the Hephaestus is still unsure what preparations they should make to deal with Colonel Kepler and his...

  • 2016 / 8 / 30
    Mini Episode 13: Kansas

    Captain Warren Kepler undergoes an evaluation. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • 2016 / 8 / 23
    Mini Episode 12: Pagliacci

    Communications Specialist Douglas Eiffel considers consequences and responsibilities. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • 2016 / 8 / 15
    Mini Episode 11: Decommissioned

    Unit 214 is given a second chance to prove her value as a company asset. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • 2016 / 8 / 9
    Mini Episode 10: Things That Break Other Things

    Daniel Jacobi celebrates an anniversary. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • 2016 / 8 / 1
    Mini Episode 9: Greensboro

    Air Force Captain Isabel Lovelace faces an unexpected test. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • 2016 / 7 / 25
    Mini Episode 8: Language Mapping

    Doctor Alana Maxwell tries to solve an irritating problem. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • 2016 / 7 / 18
    Mini Episode 7: Rebranding

    Doctor Dmitri Volodin gets a visit from a man who wants to know more about his experimental research.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • 2016 / 7 / 10
    Mini Episode 6: Once In a Lifetime

    Air Force Lieutenant Renée Minkowski considers an unusual opportunity. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • 2016 / 6 / 28
    Episode 37: Overture

    When Jacobi repeatedly tries - and fails - to put an additional signal receiver in orbit around Wolf 359, most of the crew writes off the endeavor as a lost cause. However, when the Hephaestus is hit by an...

  • 2016 / 6 / 14
    Episode 36: Fire and Brimstone

    An accident leaves Dr. Maxwell in imminent danger and the entire station in a state of emergency. The crew scrambles to mount a rescue, but when Kepler and Minkowski disagree over which is the best way to...

  • 2016 / 5 / 30
    Episode 35: Need to Know

    As they struggle with a demanding schedule, an expanding workload, and Colonel Kepler's growing secrecy, tensions amongst the crew members - both old and new - are on the verge of a breaking point. But when a...

  • 2016 / 5 / 28
    Mini Episode 5: Long Story Short

    Jacobi reflects on his relationship with Colonel Kepler. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • 2016 / 5 / 17
    Episode 34: A Matter of Perspective

    When the Urania's radio picks up and loses the first deep space signal in months, Colonel Kepler puts everyone on high alert. Split into two teams and forced to stay up on an all-night stakeout, the crew must...

  • 2016 / 4 / 27
    Episode 33: Don't Poke the Bear

    Seeking to prevent another unforeseen Decima outbreak, Eiffel and Hilbert run tests to determine the status of the virus inside the Communication Officer's body. The two men are forced to deal with an...

  • 2016 / 4 / 12
    Episode 32: Controlled Demolition

    As the SI-5 tightens its grip on the Hephaestus, Colonel Kepler decides to run a comprehensive job review. Each faced with unique challenges, Eiffel, Minkowski, Lovelace, and Hilbert all struggle to prove...

  • 2016 / 4 / 1
    Wolf 359 Live: Deep Space Survival Procedure and Protocol

    Recorded Live at the Alchemical Theatre Laboratory in New York City! It’s been a rough few months for Communications Officer Doug Eiffel. He’s dealt with plant monsters, the reappearance of a...

  • 2016 / 3 / 28
    Mini Episode 4: Meanwhile

    An important message prompts additional resources to be uncovered for the Hephaestus Mission. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • 2016 / 3 / 14
    Episode 31: Sécurité

    Sécurité. (noun) An international radio signal, used to convey messages concerning safety of navigation or important warning. Plus, sensitive information, sun tanning opportunities, surreal nightmares, bunny...

  • 2016 / 2 / 29
    Episode 30: Mayday

    Mayday. (noun) An international radio distress signal, used to signify a state of emergency on board a craft. Plus, complete operational breakdown, better ways to fly, mathematical realities, an idle mind,...

  • 2016 / 2 / 14
    Episode 29: Pan-Pan

    Pan-Pan. (noun) An international radio distress signal, used to signify a state of urgency on board a craft. Plus, very simple instructions, Space Yukon, adventures in grease monkeying, Disney table manners,...

  • 2015 / 11 / 23
    Episode 28: Who's There?

    Part two of two. Faced with a new obstacle, the crew struggles to navigate all of Wolf 359’s sudden changes. Eiffel, Minkowski, and Hera desperately work to get the Hephaestus back on a stable orbit, while...

  • 2015 / 11 / 9
    Episode 27: Knock, Knock

    Part one of two. The Hephaestus is thrust into a maelstrom in the wake of Wolf 359's sudden, violent change. With the station infrastructure taking heavy damage and multiple systems failing, Eiffel,...

  • 2015 / 10 / 26
    Episode 26: Do No Harm

    With Eiffel in critical condition, Minkowski, Hilbert, and Lovelace are forced to put their differences on hold. But with long-held fears and grudges reaching their breaking points, it's not long before the...

  • 2015 / 10 / 5
    Episode 25: Lame-O Superhero Origin Story

    Forced to work together, Eiffel and Hilbert try to find some middle ground as they adjust the Hephaestus' systems. But with old grudges coming to a boil and Lovelace getting ever closer to her goals, will the...

  • 2015 / 10 / 5
    Mini Episode 3: Variations on a Theme

    Captain Lovelace goes forwards and backwards in time.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • 2015 / 9 / 21
    Episode 24: Tactical Brain Damage

    Now armed with a plan, the crew begins putting their elaborate deception in motion. While Eiffel keeps Captain Lovelace occupied, Hera and Minkowski start adjusting the station's equipment. But when their...

  • 2015 / 9 / 7
    Episode 23: No Pressure

    Ten days after the reappearance of Captain Lovelace, the crew works around the clock to get the various systems on her shuttle up and running. Tensions rise steadily as Eiffel, Minkowski, and Lovelace face...

  • 2015 / 7 / 4
    Mini Episode 2: Day One

    From the Goddard Futuristics Archives, File #A7NB566. Communications Officer Log on Day 1 of the Hephaestus Project.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • 2015 / 6 / 9
    Episode 22: Mutually Assured Destruction

    The crew is shocked by the sudden reappearance of Captain Lovelace. At first relieved to have another ally on board the Hephaestus, Eiffel, Minkowski, and Hera soon grow suspicious of the station's former...

  • 2015 / 5 / 27
    Episode 21: Minkowski Commanding

    Following the Plant Monster's reappearance, Minkowski makes it her mission to eliminate the mutant stowaway once and for all. But when her quarry proves surprisingly difficult to corner, the Commander resorts...

  • 2015 / 5 / 12
    Episode 20: The Paranoia Game

    Against Minkowski's better judgment, Eiffel decides to use Hilbert's mechanical skills to repair a faulty system in the station's optical network. Things seem to be going well, until Eiffel and Hilbert...

  • 2015 / 4 / 28
    Episode 19: Let's Kill Hilbert

    Tensions run high when the crew revisits the issue of how to handle Doctor Hilbert's continued presence on board the Hephaestus. With Eiffel, Minkowski, and Hera all bringing their own perspectives, fears,...

  • 2015 / 4 / 14
    Episode 18: Happy To Be Of Assistance

    An unscheduled emergency air vent leaves Eiffel and Minkowski stranded in the station's hidden laboratory. Their attempts to escape from the concealed room are put on hold, however, when they discover a...

  • 2015 / 3 / 27
    Episode 17: Bach to the Future

    After weeks in a state of emergency, Eiffel, Minkowski, and Hera are faced with an unexpected challenge: staving off boredom during an uneventful night on the Hephaestus. Desperate for any way to pass the...

  • 2015 / 3 / 14
    Episode 16: Painfully Ever After

    Still dealing with fallout from Hera's deactivation, the crew struggles to keep the rapidly deteriorating Hephaestus functional. Overwhelmed, sleep-deprived, and constantly faced with new mechanical problems,...

  • 2015 / 2 / 27
    Episode 15: What's Up, Doc?

    Still rattled by their recent discoveries, Eiffel and Minkowski try to force Hilbert to reveal what he knows about the Hephaestus's mysteries and the details of his secret mission. But will they find some way...

  • 2015 / 2 / 14
    Episode 14: The Kumbaya Approach

    Unsure of who or what to trust after the events at Christmas, Eiffel and Minkowski make contact with Mr. Cutter, their liaison to Goddard Futuristics and the mission's direct supervisor. But given Hilbert's...

  • 2014 / 12 / 25
    Episode 13: Gas Me Twice

    Part two of two. The repercussions of the crew's discovery and Dr. Hilbert's actions continue to disrupt the station's Christmas plans. Cut off from Minkowski and with limited time to act, Eiffel decides to...

  • 2014 / 12 / 24
    Episode 12: Deep Breaths

    Part one of two. It's Christmas Day on the Hephaestus. While Minkowski does her best to approximate a traditional holiday dinner, Eiffel decides he's going to try to smoke his last cigarette. Both plans are...

  • 2014 / 12 / 12
    Episode 11: Am I Alone Now?

    In a set of short stories, we get to see what the Hephaestus crew does when they are by themselves. Doctor Hilbert tells a joke and ponders a question. Hera plays a game. Eiffel takes a test. Minkowski sends...

  • 2014 / 11 / 28
    Episode 10: Extreme Danger Bug

    Eiffel decides that he wants to step up his game and play a more active role in documenting life on the Hephaestus. His newfound enthusiasm is soon tested when an unscheduled explosion puts a hole in one of...

  • 2014 / 11 / 14
    Episode 9: The Empty Man Cometh

    As the Hephaestus begins a hazardous passage through an ion wind cluster, Eiffel is surprised to discover a message from the mission higher-ups waiting for him in the Communications Room. When the decoded...

  • 2014 / 10 / 31
    Episode 8: Box 953

    In accordance with protocol and the need to maintain crew morale, Minkowski insists on holding another of her infamous talent shows. Both Eiffel and Hilbert come up with schemes to weasel their way out of...

  • 2014 / 10 / 23
    Mini Episode 1: Are Space Suits Itchy?

    Eiffel takes some time from his busy schedule to answer third graders' questions. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • 2014 / 10 / 10
    Episode 7: The Sound and the Fury

    When Minkowski and Hera get into a fight, Eiffel decides to stay out of the way until the dust settles. But the station’s deadly mutant plant monster stowaway somehow gains control of Doctor Hilbert’s mind,...

  • 2014 / 9 / 26
    Episode 6: Super Energy Saver Mode

    The Hephaestus Mission reaches its 500th day since launch, and Eiffel is determined to make the most of the occasion. His celebration is cut short, however, when a power outage knocks out Hera and all of the...

  • 2014 / 9 / 12
    Episode 5: Cigarette Candy

    A mysterious illness strikes Eiffel, quickly leaving him out of commission and bedridden. It falls on Dr. Hilbert’s medical expertise to find some way to get the Communications Officer back to full health....

  • 2014 / 8 / 29
    Episode 4: Cataracts and Hurricanoes

    Eiffel takes a quick trip to the exterior of the Hephaestus in pursuit of a cleaner reading of one of the mysterious space transmissions. Things seem to be going well – until an unexpected stellar flare...

  • 2014 / 8 / 15
    Episode 3: Discomforts, Pains, and Irregularities

    The time arrives for another one of Dr. Hilbert’s infamous biannual physical and wellness checks, causing Eiffel and Minkowski to descend into a state of panic. With life and limb on the line, they each find...

  • 2014 / 8 / 15
    Episode 2: Little RevoluciĂłn

    When Eiffel discovers that there’s only one tube of toothpaste remaining on board the Hephaestus, he realizes that a delicate situation is upon the crew. His solution? Steal the toothpaste, barricade the door...

  • 2014 / 8 / 15
    Episode 1: Succulent Rat-Killing Tar

    Our premiere episode. Officer Doug Eiffel, communications officer on board the U.S.S. Hephaestus Station, is willing to go to any lengths to procrastinate his work. Tasked with a pointless hunt for alien...