The coastguard is this week’s topic at the behest of Cat of Ontario, Canada. Given the fact that Canada is the nation with the longest coastline in the world perhaps Cat is hoping to find out whether or not...

According to facts there are more roads in the world now than at any point in history: the A49, Route Sixty-Something, Thunder Road etc and so on. Surely, therefore, there is no better time than now to buckle...

The Caveman. Stone Age creature. Witness of the dawn of humanity. He knows only that he must survive and that he must survive only to procreate so that one fine, lukewarm dawn his afterbears might emerge from...

Emily of Oxford tunes in to the vibes of a brand new year and reckons what the world needs to hear about from the beans is bodybuilders. It’s a well judged move and who better to pick the perfectly toned meat...

The beans convene an emergency Film Corner to watch James Cameron's latest visit to the alien paradise of Pandora.Film Corner episodes are usually Patreon-only. To join our Patreon visit...

For reasons we can't fully remember, last year at Ratmas-tide we read out 12 rat anecdotes sent in by listeners. Well, it's back again and this time it's live and writhing, like so many rats. Merry...

The very latest statistics make it clear that, given the pervasiveness of organised crime worldwide, at least 2 regular listeners of Three Bean Salad must be directly involved in some Mob or other (and most...

How and where and why and when and if do you wash your undergarments? Presumably this is a conversation Douglas from Michigan wishes to prompt across the world as he top-loads laundry into the bean machine...

The beans return refreshed, carefully groomed and oiled in all the right places for a new season of lukewarm banter. First up: neighbours, courtesy of Nicole of Oregon. Tune in for a heady mix of truth bombs...

No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until December)Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus episodes: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladTickets for our Glasgow show, plus live...

No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (it's a five Wednesday July and we only do four episodes a month because of mindfulness)Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus/video...

As our days grow shorter and our ear hair grows longer what better to reflect upon than the righteous placement of bollards and ethical commercial land zoning. Thank you then to Dan from Saint Bremen who has...

Even the most disciplined podcasters in the world are susceptible to the occasional whoopsie. So it is with this episode which, owing to circumstances outside but mostly inside the beans’ control, contains no...

Lee of the Black Country wants the beans discuss Sunday roasts this week, presumably because he’s not allowed to have one himself this weekend. But why not? Was he rude to a policeman? Did he throw a wobbly...

This week the beans tackle kitchen gadgets thanks to Tymon of Poland. Currently there are no legal restrictions on or requirements for the personal use of vegetable spiralizers in domestic, industrial, galley...

People are known to have travelled from Bristol to Australia and vice versa on various occasions and sometimes more than once. Given these strong links it shouldn’t come as a shock that Loz of Bristol reckons...

Sam of Aurora slung noodles into the bean machine, and the beans attacked it with relish, going deep on the topic in such a way that you'll never look at a noodle, or even tagliatelle, in the same way again....

A freebie Patreon episode to give you a taste of the sort of thing we do over there. Henry tells Mike and Ben the story of Hans The Hedgehog.www.patreon.com/threebeansalad

No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until September)Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus episodes: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladTOUR TICKETS:...

No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (it's a five Wednesday July and we only do four episodes a month because of an EU directive)Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus...

Hailey of Guildford offers up hiking as a topic for the beans this week which is nothing to be ashamed of. Just as the cardinal rule of the hiker is to leave no trace of themselves on the landscape, the...

Queen Vic, Lil’ Drina, Granny Europe, The Windsor Widow, The Saxe-Coburg Slicker, Big Bo Peep. Whatever you call her, Queen Victoria still holds the record for the monarch with the most pubs and Spice Girls...

Match Of The Day. Big Break. Bullseye. All of the major British sports have been comprehensively covered by television for decades - except archery. Looks like it’s time for the beans to pick up where...

The presumably unreconstructed Nick of Chicago feeds “Old Wives’ Tales” into the Bean Machine which spew-jects it just at the moment the beans are after a topic so that’s what it is. Is there no such thing as...

They say if you remember the 60s then you didn’t really do yourself any serious brain damage in the 60s. Perhaps someone in that situation would be well placed to offer some thoughts on arguably the most...

The beans have avoided it for as long as possible but Roddy of London has spoken and what he spake is “Moths”. This could be a fearsomely difficult listen for anyone with a loathing of moths or this podcast....

Sean of Exeter kicks off a hot summer of lukewarm banter by suggesting the beans discuss wild camping. Sub-topics could but don’t include how to make a tent out of your own trousers, evading predators by...

No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until June).Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus episodes: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladTOUR TICKETS:...

No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (it's a five Wednesday April and we will only do four Wednesday episodes in a month out of respect for all that is holy)Join our PATREON for ad-free...

You will no doubt have a strong opinion on ham. It has been a muse to poets, a justification for war lords, a promise between lovers. It is mankind’s cornerstone. But ham salad? That’s something many of us...

It’s Helen of Bristol’s turn to feed the bean machine this week which has led to the topic being festivals. Of course there’s a festival for bloody everything these days and they’re not like they used to be...

Samuel of 84A High Street chooses giants as this week’s topic and no doubt he has his reasons. Should you wish to know those reasons the beans are unable to help but you could always spend the rest of your...

What is your council tax liability if you build a holiday bungalow in outer orbit? How would you recycle all that cosmic glassware? And most importantly, would the lukewarm banter of your favourite podcast...

No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until March).But sign up to PATREON for weekly bonus episodes throughout March, ad-free episodes and more: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladTicket...

No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (it's a five Wednesday January and we will only do four Wednesday episodes in a month out of respect for natural law, magnets and the tides)Join our PATREON...

Steven of Oslo suggests DIY as the topic for this week’s episode so if you’re looking for the audio equivalent of a double-treaded sub-insulated Type D prog-backed 9mm helix arched reverse spiral pentagonal...

We will never know if Guy Fawkes’ grim end would have changed had his barrister not gone for the “He only wanted to make the Houses of Parliament lukewarm” defence. Perhaps Mr Fawkes himself would have drawn...

The railway is this week’s topic thanks to Nick of Kent (which for our international listeners is “The Garden of England” according to Kent. It is also unusual as a county as it categorises each man born in...

To date the indisputable peak of human scientific endeavour has been managing to hide a bonus track on a CD. The natural next summit is to hide a bonus door on an advent calendar. Will we see this achieved in...

Tis the Yule and Jacob from Manchester very cannily suggests hippos as this week’s topic. In Aesop’s fable, the hippo is humiliated by being left out of any accounts of the Nativity and, according to Hans...

Most of us can only dream of the splendour of the internal spaces occupied by London’s elite. A lucky few might have a neighbour who’s made it big on the pools, bought one of those glossy magazines with...

No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until December).Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad

No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (it's a five Wednesday October and we only do four episodes a month - take it up with our lawyer, Julian Calendar)Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a...

Put your seat back into the reclining position (but only if you have the express consent of the person behind you who has also ideally reclined their seat with the express consent of the person behind them ad...

Dan from Bremen chooses sharks for this week’s topic as well he might. After all, just as the shark is a perfectly evolved apex predator, so is the bean a perfectly evolved apex legume. No one wants three...

True to form, Tutankhamun from the Nile Delta has selected the pyramids as this week’s topic. Were these structures named after the shape or was it the other way around? Were they meant to be that shape in...

Adverts: lifeblood of the nation, engine of the economy, coal of the mind. What could be more splendid then than a podcast episode which already contains adverts also being about adverts? Thank you to Andrew...

It’s drive time on Bean FM and this week the lukewarm hits are in the key of “pasta” thanks to Matt of Bremen! We’ve got all the latest celebrity gossip, updates from Bonjamin’s traffic drone, weather from...

The beans doff their caps (FUNGUS PUN!) to Adam of Bremington Spa for providing this weeks topic: mushrooms. What (or who???) are mushrooms? And why? And how come none of the other podcasts are getting to...

Looking for a clear explanation of the syncopated contrapuntal elaboration of static half-diminished harmony tritone substitution turnaround? Then look no further as Cameron of Milton Keynes has the beans...